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♥Esther H.
SWEET thirteen ;
FCPS , SCSS .
SPEEDLIGHTER ; Jesus simply ROCKS.
Clarinettist ; NCC Command Band (: SWISSWINDS
i♥softtoys(:

♥♥♥♥Gans are superrrbly-loved by me :D

One Step Forward , & Two Steps Back

people has viewed since 15 Jun 'o9♥


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You can’t blame Gravity for making you fall .
It’s you who has to step carefully .
You can’t blame Friction for th hurt ,
that was caused by it due to your carelessness of falling , can you ?
♥complicated;


    Date: Wednesday, December 17, 2008
    Time: 2:06 PM
Chirstmas Gift?

    Something that Emmanuel (didi) asked me this morning brought me back to what happened six (going on seven years) years ago. I was stupid. I regret. If I hadn't asked her for a Brother, nothing of this sort would have landed my mom in a coma. Emmanuel asked me what I wanted for Christmas. Teardrops slowly trickled down my cheeks. I missed my mom too much. I didn't wanna tell him, so I just went, Haha, only God can give me what I want for Christmas. ... As I did, I tried to hold back my tears. I was talking to my dad. I didn't want him to see me cry. Memories started flashing back like Lightning does during a thunderstorm. Times when I got scolded by my mom. Times when I kept on talking to her. But... Sometimes I wanna know why she was taken from me at such a young age. For my bro, he doesn't CRY whenever he goes to my mom's bedside and say "MOMMY." I do. Once I talk to her, tears can't stop flowing. Talk about her? Yesh, I do cry, unless I'm speaking emotionessly about her. God provided a maid for the past two years. Before that, I had to help my dad with my mom's stuffs. I was frustrated. Angry with God. Kept thinking, 'GOD! WHY IS LIFE SO UNFAIR?', God was alws there, it just happened that I never realized. I took him for granted, and I almost came to a point where I almost no longer believed in GOD. But somehow he brought me back to HIM. For the first few years after my mom slipped into a coma, I felt that there wasn't anyone who'd love me anymore. I gave up on GOD. Yes, I realleh did. I mean, I miss my mom, Realleh do. It's like, I wished I had appreciated her more. She's near the Living room. She's lying there. Asleep. But.. No. I never took the trouble to talk to her. I knew I would cry. talking about her itself would alr make my eyes water. Thinking about the past, when I was younger, I realleh just wanna say SORRY to EVERYONE who has CARED about me, yet I disregarded. I'm SORRY. I realleh am. I'm glad God has moulded me into who I am today. I no longer say "GOD! I DON'T NEED YOU" or any sort of that, instead, I will THANK GOD for everything HE's done for ME. Jesus, I LOVE YOU, more than anything, more than anyone in this world. I LIVE FOR YOU.

    Esther


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