CrashAndBurn♥;













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♥Esther H.
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One Step Forward , & Two Steps Back

people has viewed since 15 Jun 'o9♥


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You can’t blame Gravity for making you fall .
It’s you who has to step carefully .
You can’t blame Friction for th hurt ,
that was caused by it due to your carelessness of falling , can you ?
♥complicated;


    Date: Tuesday, October 20, 2009
    Time: 6:08 PM
):

    Sigh , work so hard for the results , in the end ? Like shit . Sometimes I wonder why I should even work . The thought of giving up has crossed my mind , but I didn't give in - I can't .

    When I got them back just now , was kinda happy with it , since I felt I had already given it my best , but looking at it now , maybe my best just isn't good enough to meet my dad's expectations .

    Broke down after seeing the look of disappointment on his face , didn't have any appetite , thus didn't eat lunch . (Unless bubble tea is counted) Felt utterly useless .

    Everytime I make my dad sad , it's like , I feel really bad , cause I know what he's gone through in the past few years . I've been going through it too .

    But I've learnt something today . Sometimes what keeps us going , isn't hope , but love .

    When i say Love , I mean the love you have for your family . Sometimes , no matter how much you claim to hate them , deep inside , it's only because you love them , too deeply .

    I can bet to say that almost no one has been in the same situation as me . So far , among all my friends , I haven't seen someone like that .

    I've became way too numb towards feelings , or even when it comes to talking to my mom . I've kind of given up hope , I guess .

    You'll almost always see me as an extremely happy girl , facing absolutely no problems in life . Yeah , on the outside , maybe . But really , I'd say most people don't know me , at all .

    Sighs . I've resolved to put in maybe 200% instead of the 101% that I've put in this year . I'm gonna do well , and I'm gonna start now (:

    xoxo ,
    -/E.


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