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Date: Tuesday, October 20, 2009 Time: 6:08 PM ):
When I got them back just now , was kinda happy with it , since I felt I had already given it my best , but looking at it now , maybe my best just isn't good enough to meet my dad's expectations . Broke down after seeing the look of disappointment on his face , didn't have any appetite , thus didn't eat lunch . (Unless bubble tea is counted) Felt utterly useless . Everytime I make my dad sad , it's like , I feel really bad , cause I know what he's gone through in the past few years . I've been going through it too . But I've learnt something today . Sometimes what keeps us going , isn't hope , but love . When i say Love , I mean the love you have for your family . Sometimes , no matter how much you claim to hate them , deep inside , it's only because you love them , too deeply . I can bet to say that almost no one has been in the same situation as me . So far , among all my friends , I haven't seen someone like that . I've became way too numb towards feelings , or even when it comes to talking to my mom . I've kind of given up hope , I guess . You'll almost always see me as an extremely happy girl , facing absolutely no problems in life . Yeah , on the outside , maybe . But really , I'd say most people don't know me , at all . Sighs . I've resolved to put in maybe 200% instead of the 101% that I've put in this year . I'm gonna do well , and I'm gonna start now (: xoxo , -/E. |